Uh, Jason?

You win the month for that account. That is the funniest and most shocking piece of storytelling I've heard for at least 30 to 31 days.

Probably a good call to not go chasing after the car. You could've been killed or even injured. I only wish I'da been there to see it all go down.

Jessica, if you aren't interested, just be friendly. If he bothers you, don't hang out with him. If he keeps asking you out, tell him no. If he bothers you after that, threaten his life (or just take it). Uh, wait a second. Not that last one. If a guy can't take it, that's his problem, not yours. Harsh but true. Even if he can take it he might be let down and get all weepy for a while. But he'll get over it. If not, again - his problem. Whatever you do, remember 2 things: be honest (playing along just because you can't bring yourself to crush his feelings is Lying to him), and trust that things will eventually work out, that all hurts will eventually heal if we let them, and that sometimes the kindest thing to do is to be harsh now rather than harsher later.

^
$0.02 also

song of the day: hmm... it's a toss-up between Severe Tire Damage Theme, She's An Angel, and Ana Ng
vocabulary word of the week: Wiki
wiki of the day: tmbw.net
lyrics of the day:

I heard they had a space program
When they sing you can't hear, there's no air
Sometimes I think I kind of like that and
Other times I think I'm already there

Peace