...to think about.
- 1. "Peoples' Choice Award" is America's greatest honor.
- 2. Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
- 3. The U.F.O. was a paper plate.
- 4. The nerds on the internet are not geeks.
- 5. The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
- 6. The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
- 7. Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
- 8. If you are reading this you have no life.
- 9. Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.
- 10. The other U.F.O. was an upside-down salad spinner.
- 11. Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
- 12. Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
- 13. Our viewers are not pathetic, sexless food tubes.
- 14. Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
- 15. The "Cheers" (1982) gang is not a real gang.
- 16. Salt water does not "chase the thirsties away".
- 17. Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger.
- 18. Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
- 19. Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys.
- 20. Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
- 21. Everything is 10% fruit juice.
- 22. The flesh-eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
- 23. Janet Reno is evil.
- 24. V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
- 25. Ted Koppel is a robot.
- 26. Women aren't from Venus, and men aren't from Mars.
- 27. Fleiss does floss.
- 28. Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedure.
- 29. Bart is bad to the bone.
- 30. Godfry Jones' wife is cheating on him. (note: Jones was the host of "Rock Bottom")
- 31. The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kick boxing contests.
- 32. The "Bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
- 33. Everyone on TV is better than you.
- 34. The people who are writing this have no life.
|