Saturday, September 26, 2009

“Overtones of a Band Hall”

Here is a transcription that I wrote from things I heard in the Band Hall one day, many moons ago. Really. It was all said. In one sitting. No, I really didn't add anything, this was all you guys!


Transcribed in a band hall by Kristin Fink
Spring and October of 2003
So, who do you practice kissing with?
I usually start laughing.
Is that why you want up front?
Excuse me! This isn’t Jazz Band!
He’s got a bucket in his hand.
What?!… Who’s talking?
I didn’t know the director of the C.I.A. had a piano.
It’s an expensive choice anyway.
So now, I’m, like, twice as fast because I have two hands.
His voice is just making me want tot sleep.
The tissue that moves water down – that’s the Floam?
Why is it “snowplow” and not “sn-owe pl-oh?” Oh!
Dude! I didn’t even have to try! It happened all by itself.
I know, the star was in the middle and it doesn’t even do anything. The star just falls.
2,000! 4,000! 2,000! 4,000? 2,000….
And I thought the needle broke off in my arm…
It’s time to demonstrate my pants!!!
The smell of your salmon is making me sick.
They’re squirrels! What do they want, your nuts?!
I’m glad to see you finally conform. Well, sort of.
What was I doing yesterday? Oh, that’s what I was doing… No wonder my leg is sore.
Life in large quantities is fatal. Water is a major cause of death.
I also use fungus.
Now I know why you’re not with it.
I think I left it in the bathroom.

Umm… if you let me.
-Cause it’s such a boring state.
Am I still in Kansas?!!
I guess you gotta make better friends, Roark.
Great Job (said low and slow)
Purple Jello. What can you stereotype it as?
No, I am not a pansy, I’m a daisy! (said by a straight, masculine male)
He’s not obscenely masculine…
You know, I can’t find one of those hats!
Your brother would be proud of me.
Not there! That was almost a Tokyo right there!
-Annoying buzzing-
Where in the world is my cornbread?
Kissing?!
-And they think kissing is evil.
What time is it?
Time to get ready.
See you.
If they’re smaller they use more air.
If you’re walking down the hall and they grab your leg….
….
So, who do you practice kissing with?